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the real me

hey this web page is the real me no more secrets or lies its just me this is where i'll put my deepest darkest secrets for any one to read. so here they are

well my family may look ok on the outside and i try to make it look like i have the perfect life but its not my family is so screwed up. First of all my mom is secretly smoking she has bin for like 2 years i think she smokes cuz shes so stressed and shes sad that her life had to turn out this horrible she wanted the perfect family just like me a nice husband who got a long with the kids their would be a girl older and a boy younger she would be a stay at home mom and her husband would have a job as some type of bussines man. So anyways my mother is secretly smoking and my dad gets mad at me and my sister all the time he yells alot and my dad and sister get in huge fights and my mom says shes gonna go get the mail but shes really gonna drive someplace and smoke for an hour and me feeling like im in the middle of this horrible thing i go into my room and cry this has been happening since my mom started smoking and its just so hard to go out every day with a huge smile on my face while i feel like crying.

I hate myself ive never had a boyfriend its not like anyone would want to be my boyfriend all i ever wanted was that perfect romance story to be my life but that will never happen.

i hate the way i look im soooooooooo fat i look hideos.

the reason i write all this stuff on this page is because i cant write it anywhere else not in my diary cuz my sister looks in their i cant tell any of my friends cuz they would just laugh it off they dont take anything seriosly i cant tell anybody y i hate my life sumtimes i could just kill myself.

Sept 22 so 2day my friend was supposed 2 have her b day party but it got cancelled cuz she got sick so now im doing nothing 2day im just sitting around the house being a fat ugly lump. I was gonna call my best friend but shes going fishing so im so bored. ugh i really dont want 2 go bak 2 skewl on monday i hate all my classes exept for gym and english im failing my math class which isnt 2 good and im supposed 2 be the best at writing cuz thats my thing the one thing that im good at but im average in my english class ugh it sux like the best writer in the class is this girl whos the best at every other subject 2 i hate it so much im never going to be good enough for anyone im not the best at anything i do im just the invisible girl in the background no one will notice me im nothing im not number one on anybodys list i want 2 be important to sumbody but that will never happen no ones ever going 2 love me.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I hatye everything i just want 2 kill myself all my friends dont know anything about me because their all so busy with their own lives its like they dont even care bout me anymore and no guys like me at all what i want so bad is that fairytale love but thats not going 2 happen no one loves me and i hate it my mom and dad must be the biggest asses in the universe i hate them sooooooooo much they make my life horrible i just wish they would leave me alone they never let me have my privacy. I have 2 go do my fucking homework i really dont want to do it its math to and im failing math i suck at it im so dumb i wish i was sumone else..............

so i went christmas shopping lot of fun that was i really hate christmas it makes me feel so sad but nonone can ever know that so i have to pretend to act happy and its horrible omg im so freakin pissed at my mom evry time she coughs i just want 2 kill her seroilsy since shes already doing that with her smoking and keeping it from me. omg i hate my dad to i swear he has anger problems omg i wish i would just die already i hate my life


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