I'm lost in the woods,
Looking for a path, No matter how well traveled.
I've been pretty much a loner,
My whole life thru,
But the silence pervading my life,
Is choaking me.
I've lost my self,
Im my solitary bubble of exzistance,
Who have I become?
Where have I gone?
I was naive, innocent,
So much so that i thought,
I might forge my own path,
Blaze my own trail.
But now, lost in the woods,
I'm afaried to continue,
And I cant go back,
To the me that used to be.
I've lost sight of my goals,
And I've been ashamed and disgraced,
Left, cold and alone,
My heart is slowly freezing.
Not long ago,
I found an angel, pure and true,
A guiding light,
A window to the world outside my hole.
Now I've loved,
But before i had anything at all,
I lost it, it slipped thru my fingers,
It didnt exzist, or didnt i!
My angel is gone now,
So i ask myself,
Would I have rather to have never loved,
Or would i rather be abandoned again?
I can't hold it against her, tho,
It seems i'm not fit for swine,
Much less her sacred light,
And so i retreat.
My hole n the universe is intact,
After the glow of the heavens,
It seems so much darker,
It's my inescapable prison,
My beautiful creation, forrupted,
Sompthering me, my past, my future,
I'm alone, the way i wanted it,
..... Years ago.
It amazes me,
That her power,
Has such complete,
Controle over me.
It scared me a little,
That i would go,
To the ends of the Universe,
Just for her.
She has but to ask,
And i'd get her,
Her moon chrystal,
Or give her my soul.
And for some wierd reason,
I'd trust her with my life,
Above anyone else,
And i want to be wiht her.
And, yet, by my own ideals,
I am obligated to give her,
If she wants it,
Her freedome from me.
So i wait,
And hope and pray,
For the outcome I want,
And for her to be happy.
My search is eternal,
Leads me thru life,
I'll truly be free,
To be loved.
My strength wanes,
As the world contests me,
Thought i experience life,
Will i ever truly live?
As i die,
||Logical Resistance ~Churisuchi Terra|
If i could just see you for one night,
I would kiss you soft,
And hold you tight.
If a high god,
Could grant me that right,
I would corss the distance,
Guided to you bedroom light.
I have no devine gifts of time,
Upon me bestowed,
So i will just share,
What little time we both own.
I wish to look into your eyes,
So i share wiht you the brightened skys,
To have your lips in a gentle kiss,
But youre sweet words make up for this.
I yern to feel your warm embrace,
So i rest with your voice and a smile on my face,
I want to have you by my side,
Everyday it's me you guide,
Tho i feel lodical resistance,
Time slowly closes our distance.
||Friend ~Churisuchi Terra|
I hope you never see tears in your eyes,
I hope you never understand just how pain feels,
I hope you never make a promis that you cant keep,
I hope you hever have to face youre fears.
I wish i could hold you close enfu for shelter,
I wish i could block out all of your bad memories,
I wish i could steal away all of your sorrows,
I wish you could always be near me.
I long to feel your hear beat close by,
I long to see just one smile on your face,
I long to know what i've said that has offended you,
I long to finally understand what you hide.
I know the future is filled wiht rhymes and riddles,
I know one by one they will unfold,
I know I can find the answer to every question,
I know with answer I'll grow.
All i ask is that you stand beside me,
All i beg is that you let me understand why,
All i pray is that we are forever,
All i find is you are already standing beside me.
||Meditation: Hope ~Seleen|
The beauty fo the setting dun,
The shining of a thousand meteors,
Could not compare,
To the stars in your eyes.
A warm ray of light,
A pool of liquid gold,
Beside her silken hair.
The feel of a wamr winder bath,
The serenity of a virgin forest,
Do not equal,
The comfort in her hands.
The song of nature,
The sound of absloute faith,
Her beautiful voice.
The edges on worrier's blades,
The fires in the heart's of kings,
Compared to her mind.
The scantity of the open ocean,
Tho power of the heavens,
By the power of her soul.
And tho she may not be perfect,
And Tho she my disagree,
I love her,
Like i have neber loved another.
Nor am i perfect,
Far from it infact,
But i am me,
And i pray that she accepts me.
I am who i am,
She is who she is,
Tho i dislike my downfalls,
They are me and mine as her's are her's.
So i prey,
That she might deem me,
Worthy of her,
While i wait.
I worry about friends,
I care about few people,
But those i do,
I love greatly.
When people have troubles,
I want to help,
But is my interferance,
Worth hurting my friends?
She's miserable and confused,
He just seems to make it worse,
I love her,
I think she diserves better.
I'm scared for us sometimes,
I'm afaried of what I'll do,
To protect her,
To make it better.
To love and to hide it,
Or to love and uplift,
And do my best, to open a door,
To a better place.
I haven't considered,
In a vary long time,
That i could feel,
But when our hands touched,
And all of hte sudden,
Everything felt right.
I know now that there's someone,
That i want as a friend,
As a companion,
As somthing more.
I can only pray,
That she feels the same,
That "we" can be,
And be together at last.
I worry too much,
The present, the future,
The effects of the past,
They all huant me.
Did i push,
A joule too hard,
For her to free herself,
From her problems?
Have the changes,
I've made in myself,
Given more dear fiends,
Cause to leave me?
Have the choices,
That I've made for myself,
Hurt my chances,
To reach my goals?
Have I the strength,
To hold my self up,
Against the torrents,
Of my fears?
Have i the courage,
To trust myself,
To give myself to others,
Risking more defeats?
Have I the will,
To forge ahead,
To remember what's behind,
To accept the pats,
And grow from it?
Forgive me, myself,
For tho I doubt your power,
May i always draw strengh,
From your struggles.
But i being poor,
have only my dreams.
And, have spread my dreams,
Under your feet.
For you tread on my dreams.
||Break me ~LittleGirlLost|
You know i can hide behind passive cries,
I can always blame it on them and their lies,
Play the victim 'cause I'm too scared to fight,
Hiding hard with all of my nothing might.
It's a cruel world, and nobody's gonna cry for me,
Bat my lashes and tremble like it'll make you die for me,
Can't help being scared, it's all i know how to do with this kind of love,
I know that i'm unprepared to bear the sum of your agressions thereof.
But you can break me any time you want....
Cry, baby, make them all love me again,
Cry, baby, everybody wants to be my friend!
Sympathy is as close as i can get,
To something like being wanted,
But they're so polite i can almost forget,
They only love me when i'm haunted.
So smile pretty and pretend i don't need them anyway,
Hold my head up like i'm really gonna get away.
Cry, baby, cause i know they won't follow,
Hold back, suck it up and swallow!
But you can break me anytime you want....
Only you can love me with something true,
I know it's real because it hurts so much,
I love to feel my self tearing under you,
Pray for the affection in your touch.
Never had a sadness that felt so good,
Never had a pain that i loved this hard,
Can't just forget it like i know i should,
Can't leave until i'm fully scarred.
And you can break me anytime you want...
||In Spite Of Love ~I dunno...|
I need a love that is unconditional,
With sthrength that last like time.
I need a love that is more natural,
Something special, unique...divine.
I need a love that has no reasons,
One that is stronger than because...
What I really need in life is some of that
"In spite of" love...
"In spite of " sees beyond my faults,
And beholds what I can be.
"In spite of" knows that I can be better,
But still chooses to love only me.
"In spite of" that sometimes when I speak,
I can be hurtful and out of turn,
But, "In spite of" knows that my heart is right
And gives me room to grow and learn.
I cannot simply settle
For a love based on because...
If it is to last forever,
It must be "In spite of" love.
If love is because of reasons,
What should happen should the reasons change?
If love is because I make you happy,
Where will love go when I cause you pain?
I'm to old to believe in fairy tales,
But to young to give up on my dreams.
I do believe the "in spite of" love
Finds those who understand the gift it brings.
Some say that I am asking alot,
But, I don't believe that is true.
Because "in spite of" love is not about us.
It is God loving me through you.