Here you will enjoy the same great pearls of wisdom, "KC Daze" has sent me 3-21-00
: Men & Women
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Dumb
man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man +
smart woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profits
Smart
boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee =
promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Man will pay $2.00
for a $1.00 item he needs.
Woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she
doesn't need.
Woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
Man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.
Successful man makes more money than his wife can
spend.
Successful woman is one who finds such a man.
To be happy with a
man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.
To be happy
with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at
all.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow
deteriorate overnight.
Woman marries a man expecting he will change, he
doesn't.
Man marries a woman expecting she won't change, she
does.
Married men live longer than single men; however, they are also
more
willing to die.
Married men should forget about their
mistakes.
No point in two people remembering the same thing.
Woman
has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is
the beginning of a new argument.
First day of school
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and
challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I
stood
up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around
to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit
up her entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome. My name
is Rose. I'm eighty seven
years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and
enthusiastically
responded, "Of course, you may!" and she gave me a
giant
squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a
young, innocent age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a
rich husband, get married,
have a couple of children, and then retire and
travel."
"No seriously," I asked.
I
was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this
challenge at
her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college
education and now I'm
getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared
a coke. For
three months we would leave class together and talk
nonstop. I was always
mesmerized listening to this "time machine"
as she shared her wisdom and
experience with me.
Over the course of the year,
Rose became a campus icon and
easily made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up
and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her
from the other
students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to
speak at our
football banquet and I'll never forget what she taught
us. She was
introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to
deliver
her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on
the
floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into
the
microphone and simply said "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up
beer
for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my
speech
back in order so let me just tell you what I
know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat and
began:
"We do not stop playing because we are old;
we grow old
because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to
staying
young, being happy, and achieving
success.
"You have to laugh and find humor every
day. You've got to have
a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We
have so many
people walking around who are dead and don't even know
it!"
"There is a huge difference between
growing older
and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed
for
one full year and don't do one protective thing, you will turn
twenty
years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a
year
and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can
grow
older. That doesn't take any talent or
ability.
The idea is to grow up by always finding
the opportunity in
change." "Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't
have regrets
for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The
only
people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded
her
speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged
each of us to
study the lyrics and live them out in our daily
lives.
At the years end Rose finished the college
degree she had
begun all those years ago. One week after graduation
Rose
died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college
students
attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who
taught
by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly
be.
